I got my first camera when I was 12 weeks pregnant with my son, Henry. I knew I could learn how to take decent pictures by the time he arrived. How hard could it be? I think the fact that there are few pictures of me growing up was the driving force behind it. It’s not that my parents didn’t take pictures of me; they were destroyed by a house fire in 1998. I didn’t start really learning about the camera until I was around 7 months pregnant (I tend to procrastinate). And since I got such a late start, I hadn’t learned all that I wanted to by the time March roared in. My last day of work came around and I began cramming in as much as I could knowing I only had 2 weeks (give or take) left. I began learning the more technical aspects, and of course started designing the birth announcements since Photoshop was becoming my new best friend. I had 2 designs to choose from the end of the day March 25, 2009.
Henry was stillborn on March 26 at 39 weeks.
In the weeks that followed, I found the perfect escape from my crumbling world behind the lens of my camera. It was my new best friend. My savior. I quickly realized that the view of the world from my camera was exactly what I needed it to be; it was beautiful, raw, brilliant, hopeful. I couldn’t put the camera down.
I used my maternity leave to spend even more time learning and taking photos. I went out every day and shot something (usually many things) around my neighborhood in Baltimore. On the rainy days, Daisy, my yellow lab and trusty sidekick, was my subject (and on occasion my husband, Phil, who secretly loves having his picture taken). I learned a TON in those few months – about photography and myself. It gave me something else to talk about. Photography started to change my story. I wasn’t Meghan Boyer, the woman who’s baby died. I was Meghan Boyer, Photographer.
I love seeing joy on children’s faces and knowing their parents will cherish that joy, remembering the moment each time they see what my photos have captured. I love that I have the opportunity to capture memories for other parents. And I know in my heart that is Henry’s purpose.
Samuel Henry joined our family on March 9, 2010. He brought new joy and purpose to my life that I never before imagined. Henry showed me I was meant to be a photographer, Sam showed me I was meant to be a mother. My son Bo was born in 2012 and he showed me how to love hard and laugh more than I thought possible. And my husband, Phil, has been by my side every step of the way. I am sure I’ll learn something entirely new when our 4th baby boy comes in July 2017.
Inside, I will always be Meghan Boyer, the woman who’s baby died. That’s not going to go away. The void it brought into my heart that will never again get 100% full. But I embrace what losing Henry gave me. My new life.